black order bleed out
by Crazy Neko Girl
Summary: Allen figures it all out. Yullen.


**T**itle: black order (bleed out)

When Allen Walker's 'Father' died, he was broken. Cross took him in; and Cross Marian was not the type to fix people, even his apprentice, so that didn't work. Even _if_ Cross cared for him (the womanizing bastard would never admit it, though,) Cross couldn't fix him.

**CcccccccC**

When Allen was 15, he joined the Black Order and met the rudest, bitterest Japanese he thought had ever existed.

("I don't shake hands with _cursed_ people," Resentment, and being pushed away, but all Allen could think was, '_Of course, _Kanda_, why are you being so hypocritical–_' ....what?)

**LllllllllL**

When Allen met Lavi, his first though was, _'Does he know his smiles are kind of fake?'_ and his second was, _'Fate is very un kind, but he seems like a genuinely nice guy underneath.'_

When Allen met Lavi, he made a new friend—other than Lenelee, but she seemed to want more than friendship.

**RrrrrrrR**

When Allen lost his arm—his _Innocence_ the only thought he had was _'Oh, god, Why? Mana, I'm so sorry, I can't, God....'_ and then _'I failed again. I _**failed**.'

**JjjjjjjjjjJ**

When Allen was finally able to fight again, he was sososo happy. He almost cried again. So when he went through the Ark to Japan, to Edo, to his Nakama, he was positively _enraged_ at the sight of the Earl, of the Noah, and the way his friends were so hurt.

Though it didn't surprise him in the least when he got into an argument with Kanda right away.

**XxxxxxxxX**

For the strangest reason, it _hurt_, much more than it should have, when Allen had to leave Kanda to fight Skinn Boric alone. But he forced himself to move, thinking Kanda would only kill him if he tried to help.

And when that room fell to pieces, he thought part of him did, too.

**GgggggggG**

Allen was shocked to find his Master Cross telling him to weave his wishes, his dreams, into the piano. Hell, he didn't even know how the hell he was playing the god damn thing since he had never touched an instrument in his life.

He was even more shocked when, after his wish for his Nakama, he found himself wishing for his dream..

For Kanda.

**VvvvvvvV**

Allen wasn't surprised at the way Kanda acted in the Hospital Wing. He wasn't surprised at how Kanda treated his Mentor, either—Kanda simply wasn't good at showing any type of thanks.

But Allen began having to go on more missions with Kanda—more than he thouguht he would have liked. Sure, they worked well together when they _had_ to, but that was it.

That was it.

**UuuuuuuU**

Allen turned 16 on Christmas, but he didn't tell anyone. Lavi seemed to know, but didn't say anything since Allen didn't—of course Lavi knew, future Bookman and all.

But when Allen woke up on the night of his birthday, in warm sweat and with a _very_ personal..._problem_. He shuddered, even though it wasn't cold—the exact opposite, really.

He searched his mind for a total recollection of his dream, despite he basically knew what it had been about. He closed his eyes, giving a short sigh. Time to take care of the issue at hand.

He was glad his room was away from the others.

**YyyyyyyyY**

Allen gasped when Kanda shoved him roughly against the solid brick wall of one of the Orders' more secluded areas about a week after the last mission they had together.

"K-Kanda?" Allen whispered, voice slightly rasped from shock and lack of air. The Japanese glared at him, his dark eyes (_Kind of blue purple,_ Allen decided during the battles in the Ark) narrowed angrily—or maybe in frustration, Allen wasn't sure.

But Kanda glowered slightly, before promptly leaning down and biting the pale flesh of Allens neck, right beneath his pulse. Allen took another sharp intake of breath, struggling not to close his eyes again. He vaguely wondered if he was dreaming again, but pushed ignored it as he was shoved, still into the wall—he could feel the cold of the bricks. Allen, as means of keeping steady (at least, that's what he told himself), fisted his hands through the thick fabric of Kanda's Order uniform. He pretended he was still dreaming, though, when Kanda crushed their lips together.

**WwwwwwwW**

Lenelee found them before anything really happened, and nearly rolled her eyes when Kanda pulled away, breathing only slightly labored.

He and Allen didn't speak for a month.

**UuuuuuU**

One night, Allen was depressed. He didn't know _why_, but he stumbled into the old, liqueur filled room (he found out it had been his Masters; Silly Master Cross, where are you?) and ended up popping open a bottle (full, maybe 12 years old—he wasn't sure, since he didn't like alcohol) and was especially confused as to why he was doing this, especially after a mission, but he figured it had been because Cross was missing, the war was too long, Kanda was avoiding him and _god know what else_.

Allen supposed yeah, maybe he just wanted to escape for awhile. But when Kanda came in two hours later, angry and frustrated looking like he wanted to kill something (worked out pretty well; he had gotten back from a mission and was covered in dry blood. No doubt it wasn't his own, that soldier,) Allen did what he figured came first.

Kissed Kanda Yuu, right on the lips and honestly didn't care if Lenelee or Lavi or Komui or even Inspector Link or that One leviou-something bastard walked in.

Because Kanda was all that mattered at the moment, and Allen would be _damned_ if he let his chance slip away, drunk or not.

Kanda didn't seem to mind too much either.

**SssssssS**

The war was far from over but it didn't matter. No one knew but LAvi and Lenelee and Komui so no one could say a thing.

Of course, kanda muttered 'My Uke' to Allen during Meals quite often, always making Lenelee and Lavi either laugh or giggle.

Allen needed to learn Japanese soon.

_____

Allen was horrified when he found out from Komui what the Tattoo was.

"Curse," He whispered hoarsely. "Not much time...Kanda..."

And Allen made it his priority, above all else, to save Kanda—even though that was 'selfish' in his opinion.

**________**

**AN: Oh my god. I'm in class right now. I'm feeling paranoid, since my friend is next to me trying to read this.** Sooo yea. **I'm supposed to be doing some World Issues thing, but whatever. I'll get to that now. And I know this sucks, but be easy on me!**

**Neko out.**


End file.
